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Found a couple of humorous items while cruising the web last night. Over on Windows Live Spaces at ComputerJy Inside I discovered the following:

Doctors’ Comments On Patient Charts

• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
• On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.
• The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.
• Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
• Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
• The patient refused an autopsy.
• The patient has no past history of suicides.
• Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
• Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
• Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
• She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
• She is numb from her toes down.
• While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
• The skin was moist and dry.
• Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
• Patient was alert and unresponsive.
• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
• I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
• The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
• Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.
• Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
• Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.
• By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better.
• The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
• When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
• Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
• The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
• The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

Read the following bit of trivia on Facebook. Unfortunately I can’t recall the original poster:

• The average Canadian walks 900 miles a year.
• The average Canadian drinks 22 gallons of beer a year.
• That means the average Canadian gets 41 miles to the gallon!

Have a great day all!